I am so random

eh this barely even has anything to do with randomness except that it is random. I feel like I got a rose. You probably think I am crazy. How do you feel like you got a thing?? Well I'll try and explain. What I mean is there is something that is precious but every time I get close to it I get pricked or stabbed by the sharp realities. I feel like I am dying on the inside. But the problem is sometimes I just want to totally get rid the metaphorical rose, pretending like it is the most ugly, shriveled, colorless thing, and other times I can bare the pricks and pretend like they don't exist in order to keep that thing which seems to have some value in keeping. I don't blame you if you do not understand any of this, but after all, I originally did just create this for me. myself, and I. Thus, I would be surprised if anyone besides me myself and I could understand this mumblejumble.